Winchester Legacy 2.0

“Have I told you how beautiful you look?”

“I’m fat and pregnant.”

Laughing, he slung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me down to the ground. He curled against my side and placed his hand on the top of my stomach. “Pregnant sure but not fat. You’re gorgeous and not just outwardly. You know one of the things that attracted me to you?”

I shook my head as he idly traced designs on my belly. “No, what was it?”

“Your eyes. They look out at the word with some much excitement and energy. You love your job. You enjoy what your doing and it shows. I could get lost in your eyes. I have gotten lost in your eyes.”

“Dane, what are we doing? We should have never gotten involved. I made an commitment to Gordon.”

“But was your heart in it?”

“That doesn’t matter. What kind of person would I be if I just left him? He’s my friend Dane and in my own way I love him.”

Reaching out he tilted my chin up so I was looking him in the face. “Tell me to leave Tonya and I will. Tell me that you never want to see me again, that you don’t care about me and you’ll never have to see me again. If this baby is mine you’ll get the support you need but other than that I-”

My mouth trembled. All I had to say was that I didn’t want to see him again…but than I would be living another lie. “I can’t tell you that Dane. You know I care about you. More than I should.”

He pressed a brief kiss to my mouth then helped me up.

“I want to take a picture of you. Just like this. So I can remember this day and remember exactly how you looked.”

“What?” I laughed. I was dressed in my pj’s and he was looking at me as if I was dressed in silk.

He positioned me how he wanted then took a few steps back. “Are you ready?”

“I guess,” I said as I stood there stiffly. He looked over the camera at me.

“Smile for me.”

“Dane!”

“Smile like you do when you cuddle against my side after we finish making love and I’ve satisfied you thoroughly.”

“DANE!” I had to laugh and I heard a double click. Looking over my shoulder I saw the photographer bring her camera down at the same time Dane did. Dane looked at her curiously then pulled me to the side.

“What is that woman always following you, us, around and taking pictures? Are you part of a reality show?”

Shrugging, I looked back over my shoulder to see her adding more film to her camera. “No, she just said that she wanted to follow me and see how my life plays out. You’re part of my life so expect to have her all in your face as well.”

“Riiiight….”

I gripped his hands. “Dane…I think we should take a little time apart right now. Just for awhile until I try to figure out how to break the news to Gordon.”

“I can break it to him,” he snapped.

“No, I have to do this.”

Maybe it was because Neil was a toddler now but for whatever reason Gordon started spending more time with him and scaling back at work,. They looked so alike some time, the same focused energy, that there was no doubt that Gordon was his father. I briefly touched my stomach. On one hand I wanted this to be Gordon’s baby. I was married to the man. How would it look for me to be pregnant with another man’s child? How would it make Gordon feel? Horrible. On other hand I wished that it was Dane’s baby. I loved him so much and he loved kids so much. He would really enjoy being a father. Shaking my head I peeked into the bathroom to see Gordon giving Neil his bath.  I opened my mouth to call out a greeting but decided against it. The last two days had been tense, but at least Gordon wasn’t crying. Although I did catch him worrying more than usual.

About what I don’t know. But he would always stare at Neil before he would start to wring his hands. Maybe he was thinking what would happen to Neil if we broke up. If he would still be a part of his life. I wanted to tell him that of course he’d still be a part of his son’s life but…then we would have to have the talk that I had been avoiding.

Dane would ask me every day at work if I had talked to Neil. When I would look away he would sigh and tell me that I needed to have that talk soon before he’d walk away. He was following my wish to keep some distance between us but it was hard. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up against his side as I fell asleep but as it stood right now most nights I passed out on the couch.

Some nights, as I finished washing the dishes, I would look out the window and see Dane staring at the house. I had to force myself not to run outside and fall into his arms. He would wave briefly and I would smile sadly before giving a wave back. I felt like I was in high school all over again and seceretly dating the guy t hat my dad disapproved of. Speaking of my parents I had gotten a call from my mom today wanting to know how everything was. I had told her fine. We had never had a close relationship and there was no way that I was going to let them know how quickly my world was falling apart. My dad would only say hat he had been right about me all along.

Giving Dane one last look I headed into the bathroom to take a bath. Lowering myself into the tub I gathered the bubbles around me as I let my mind drift. I was just starting to relax when the door opened and Gordon walked in.

“Latonya, I don’t want you seeing that Dane again. If we’re going to make our marriage work you have to cut him out of your life.”

“He’s my boss Gordon,” I said as I looked down.

“I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could move. There’s a new hospital opening up a city over and I thought that it would be a great career move for you.”

“You always said you never wanted to leave Redfalls. That you’d grown up here and wanted to raise your kids here. What’s changed your mind?”

He looked away from me for a moment before clearing his throat. “I…just think it would be better if we moved now while Neil was still young.”

“I love you Latonya and while I know that you’ve never loved me in the way that I love you I believe that, given the opprtunity, you’d come to love me.”

It was my turn to look away from him. “Why do you love me Gordon?” I asked softly.

“I just do.”

“But why?” I pressed.

“Why is the sky blue? It just is. I just love you.”

He didn’t even know why he loved me.  I opened my  mouth to say something but was interrupted by the sound of Neil crying.

“Stay in the tub. I’ll get him.”

“No, it’s fine. I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with him lately. Why don’t you go to bed? You have work tomorrow don’t you?”

He stared down at me for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I guess I should go to bed.”

I had just settled Neil on the potty when I heard the door open behind me.

“I thought you were going to bed?” I said as I felt myself tense.

“I can’t sleep. I thought I’d give the bathroom a good scrub to calm myself down.”

“Okay,” I said as Neil kicked his heels against the potty and babbled to himself. I watched as Gordon bent down and patted his head before starting to scrub the tub.

Recently Dane had came up with a super formula for toddlers to help them get the small skills outof the way so that they wouldn’t have to worry about them as they grew older. It had been in trial testing for a few years now but it had finally hit the market to rave reviews. This is was the first time I had given it to Neil and he seemd to be glowing with a bright green glow. Dane had told me about that effect and had reiterated that it was harmless.

It might be harmless but it still looked odd, I thought as Neil finished his business. Picking him up I put him back to bed before heading to bed myself. I figured that Gordon would be awhile with cleaning the bathroom and the sofa was causing my back to hurt worse that it already did. I was just drifting off to sleep when I felt the bed dip beside me. I feigned sleep as I could feel Gordon looing down at me.

“Say you’ll move Latonya. Say you’ll leave him. Say you want me…that you want our marriage. Please.”

I squeezed my eyes closed as he repeated those words over and over again. It was almost as if he was trying to hypnotize me in my sleep.  Dane was right. I couldn’t keep putting this off. First thing tomorrow I had to talk to him.