I started seeing Val more. It was if she wasn’t afraid to be seen by me. Not that I minded. Except for when she’d pop up and scare the crap out of me. Which she seemed to get a kick out of doing. I’m surprised that I didn’t have a heart attack or something.

I caught her watching mom a couple of times. Looking at her with this weird look on her face. A look of…longing? Sorrow maybe? I dunno. I know that she missed being part of the family. A living part of the family. I don’t blame her. Our family was cool as I don’t know what. It had to be hard for her. So, one time when I felt a chill in the room, I said something.

“Val? You know Gai’s working on getting you back right?”

And in reply I got a wet willy.

Dad lost a wad of money. Not enough to really get upset about, oh my god I sound like a snob, but enough to have him moping around the house after work. After trying to cheer him, which failed miserably, I went downtown to the dance studio. I had intended to just practice some exercises on the barre, but t here was a group milling around downstairs.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s a dance off going on. It’s open to everyone.”

“Really?”

Should I? Would I? I did.

And I was so uncomfortable standing there. Everyone else, besides the girl standing next to me, were talking in small groups but I felt like I was going to hurl. What had I been thinking? I shouldn’t have entered into this stupid thing. Look, even the dance instructor had entered. How fair was that? I took a step back and looked to the door but that’s when the stupid DJ decided to start the competition.

“Let’s get this party started! We’re going to have you dancing and when I cut the music it’s over. Then there will be a vote. Cash prize for the winner. Now…LET’S SHAKE WHAT YA MAMA GAVE YA!!!!”

At first I was stiff as a board. I couldn’t help it. I’m here, with all these adults who have probably been dancing for forever, and why did I think I could win? So, I did a little shimmy, did a little shake and then closing my eyes I let the music take over.

I opened them once to see what everyone else was but quickly shot them again and prayed that I didn’t look that awful while dancing. Suddenly the music was cut and my eyes popped back open.

“Well, that’s it folks. The judges will take a few minutes to decide and we’ll get back with you.”

Those were the longest minutes of my life. There I was, in my dorky private school uniform, waiting to see who the judges liked best. I still couldn’t believe it. I tugged on one of my dreads, pulled at my skirt, tapped my foot and then finally stood there fidgeting with my hands. There was no way there were going to call my name. No way at all.

“Alright folks. First we want to thank everyone for participating. Secondly, you’re all great dancers and if you don’t win this time there’s always next week. Sooooo…without further ado the winner of this week’s dance off is….drum roll please.”

I got my hands ready to clap for the winner. Mom had always taught us that no one was a loser until they were a sore loser.

“ALICE!!!!”